I am tired of being hurt. I have done this whole thing before. I am able to stand on my own two feet soon. When I choose to leave, I am given the guilt trip. I don’t promise to support people. I will help them if they help themselves. It is difficult to help someone who lies, manipulates and steals.
Is this love? No.
I was reading the book Letting ago. This really talked to me.
I need to get off this drug. That’s what I need to do.
It’s like I am being sucked in. It really sucks. I hate this feeling. I am going to stick with it.
It’s not so much what he does, but his mom. I try real hard to have patience. It’s something I need to work on. I don’t need her to like me. I would like a little respect. I am called a “certificate holder” and not sure why I am called that. The woman likes his drug addict friends. I am thinking this is more of she likes him in his addiction because she knows what he’s doing. He’s stopped telling her about us. His friend Sarah tells her about us, I am guessing.
I want a relationship where it’s between the man and I. I don’t mind mothers, but when she calls me “her” or “she” then it is not a relationship.
I guess we will see. I see a future, but I don’t want to leave my son.
I’ll be going home today. I hate when I leave like this. We tried working and that was a bust. I made $3 and something.
I am grateful for meeting all these people. I am grateful I am learning. I am grateful I have had places to stay. It’s been really rough through this awakening. Coming face to face with my shadows. I know this lifestyle is bringing me back to the times I wanted to be liked by all. I actually don’t. It’s on them. It’s not about me. I have a lot of support and a lot of people who value my friendship.
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